In a terrifying alternate universe where all the earthly laws of nature and logic are subverted, Mike Adamle has returned to the commentary table for World Wrestling Entertainment.
Adamle is hopelessly flubbing the names of wrestlers and their maneuvers in one of an infinite number of alternate dimensions predicted by the “many worlds” hypothesis of quantum mechanics.
Many aspects of professional wrestling in the parallel universe — which, according to renowned astrophysicist Stephen Hawking, is accessible only by a wormhole in the fabric of spacetime — seem to be in direct contradiction to our earthly logic.
For example, Adamle is joined on the commentary team by Jonathan Coachman and original Monday Night Raw co-host Rob Bartlett.
It also seems that, in this strange extra-dimensional realm, the Montreal Screwjob never happened, meaning Vince McMahon never became a heel and Steve Austin forever remained The Ringmaster, losing a long series of matches against Mantaur.
The current WWE champion in this nightmarish realm is The Shockmaster, whom Mike Adamle repeatedly refers to as “The Blastmaster.”