Former professional wrestler and escort service mogul The Godfather is in critical condition after the disastrous derailment of a Ho Train.
Numerous hoes were strewn about the countryside after the Ho train went off the rails just outside Las Vegas.
Hazardous materials experts are on the scene because the Ho Train is believed to have spilled hoes carrying communicable diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea and herpes, as well as dangerous levels of skankiness.
The Godfather has reportedly refused conventional medial treatment for his injuries, and insisted that he be seen by a voodoo witch doctor named Papa Shango.
Early reports indicate that the Godfather was at the helm of the Ho Train when it derailed (a fedora with a long green feather jutting from the rim was found at the controls) meaning he could be charged with criminal negligence if he is proven to be at fault.
The Godfather’s ability to competently drive a Ho Train has been in question for years, given that he as repeatedly admitted that the task “ain’t easy.”