Shawn Michaels deer
Shawn Michaels poses with a former fan.

A majestic buck deer, barely clinging to life in a pool of its own blood, decided that it is no longer a fan of retired professional wrestler  Shawn Michaels.

As the agony-stricken deer glanced at the crossbow arrow jutting from its chest — which had pierced its aorta causing severe bleeding and pain — the animal realized there is a strange irony in Michaels’ nickname, the Heartbreak Kid.

The deer watched in confusion as a Michaels, dressed head-to-toe in camouflage, strode proudly into the forest clearing where the deer lay dying, a smug grin on his face.

“What a heartless prick,” the deer thought to itself.

“I can’t believe I used to be fan of this guy.”

The deer once loved the tag matches of The Rockers and most of Michaels’ solo career, but thought D-X was pretty stupid.

The deer took one final gurgling breath — pondering the meaninglessness of its death at the hands of a balding grown man who still calls himself a “sexy boy” — and then forever lost its smile.