On the heels of reports that Brie Bella will soon be leaving WWE, rumors have emerged that the departing Diva will be replaced by Gladys, the long-lost Bella Triplet.
Little is known about Gladys Bella, as she was not blessed with the good looks and sass of her famous sisters. Sources close to the Bella family say Gladys was spent much of her childhood locked in the attic, surviving on a diet of fish heads.
But because WWE executives are keen to maintain a pair of Bellas on the roster, Gladys has reportedly been recruited to replace Brie, who is expected to quit the company soon to be with her husband, a former independent wrestler of little note.
Sources at the WWE Performance Center in Florida say Gladys — dishevelled and smelling of gin — fared poorly on her first day of training yesterday. She repeatedly hollered “Gladys Mode” before lighting a cigarette and attempting to grab the buttocks of head trainer Matt Bloom.
An upcoming episode of Total Divas will follow Gladys to a wart-removal clinic, making it one of the most classy and highbrow episodes of Total Divas to date.