gorilla monsoon anatomy
Dr. Leon Kirschenbaum operates on a patient’s busted-up breadbasket.

Dr. Leon Kirschenbaum, an emergency room surgeon at Philadelphia General Hospital, confessed to a medical review board this week that his entire understanding of human anatomy was gleaned from listening to pro wrestling commentator Gorilla Monsoon.

Dr. Kirschenbaum, who specializes in treating injuries to external occipital protuberances, admits he never completed medical school but has seen every “Best of the WWF” VHS tape released by Coliseum Home Video.

“All my life, I’ve wanted to help people — whether they have a dislocated patella or a torn lateral collateral ligament,” he said.

Throughout his medical career, Dr. Kirschenbaum has treated thousands of patients with injuries to the solar plexus, sternum, kidney area, breadbasket and kisser.

The review board has recommended that Dr. Kirschenbaum be stripped of his medical license for malpractice, to which he emphatically retorted: “Will you be serious?!”