battle royal
If you thought the battle royal at Super ShowDown was crowded, wait until you see how compressed and immobile the wrestlers will be at the next Saudi cash cow!

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that its next event in the Middle East, tentatively titled The Most Bestest Royalest Rumble Ever, will include an unprecedented 200-man, zero-woman battle royal.

The inaugural Giant Gonzalez Memorial Battle Royal will see every member of the (male) WWE roster, as well as 40 “rising stars” of the Middle compete in an over-the-top-rope elimination match.

To fill the remaining 57 spots in the colossal match, WWE is inviting fans to audition via YouTube for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to compete in a WWE ring.

At a press conference in Jeddah this morning, WWE honcho Vince McMahon admitted that things “will get a little cramped, quite frankly,” given that the match will be contested in a standard-size ring. But McMahon said such challenges are “nicely offset” by¬† the $8.7 trillion in revenues the event will bring to the company from the Saudi gravy train.

To enter the contest for chance to win a coveted spot in the battle royal, just submit a link to your audition video to Vince McMahon’s personal email address, [email protected].

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