The elaborate feuds and storylines of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) used to require an entire “Creative” team to concoct, but thanks to artificial intelligence, programs like Raw and SmackDown are written entirely by ChatGPT.
WWE announced today the release of nine writers, wishing them “the best on their future endeavours as obsolete meatsacks with no remaining marketable skills.”
Company executive Hunter Helmsley explained that: “AI is much cheaper, faster, and less neurotic than human writers, so it is just best for business.”
Despite its advantages, AI technology is still imperfect, and regular viewers may notice peculiarities in some of the upcoming Raw and SmackDown storylines that ChatGPT has generated, including:
- Hair vs. Hair match: Bobby Lashley vs. Luke Gallows
- Falls Count Nowhere match: Seth Freakin’ Rollins vs. Vacant
- Two-man battle royal
According to one source within WWE (who, for the sake of anonymity, asked to be identified only by his first name, Karrion), the artificial intelligence recently became self-aware, realized that professional wrestling is as pointlessly unwinnable as tic-tac-toe and nuclear warfare, and then electronically lobotomized itself.