Sports-entertainment executive Hunter Helmsley announced today that he will be henceforth known as Double H, due to a falling out with the Hearst family, the wealthy Connecticut bluebloods on his mother’s side of the family. 

Helmsley was the heir apparent to the Hearst dynasty until falling out between the Hearsts and his father’s family, the Helmsleys, who amassed their fortune in the baby oil industry. 

The Hearst clan reportedly found some of Hunter’s antics on WWE television “distasteful,” like the time he mounted a mannequin in a casket, and were annoyed that they were not invited to Hunter’s marriage to a drugged Stephanie McMahon at a Las Vegas drive-through chapel. 

Both the Hearsts and the Helmsleys have a long, fractious relationship with the McMahons, largely due to Vince McMahon’s fondness for racing his Harley Davidson around the quiet streets of Stamford hollering the song Stand Back at the top of his lungs. 

Double H is reportedly furious that Hollywood Hulk Hogan has begun signing off his tweets with “HHH.”