kim trump summit
Trump’s historic meeting with Kim Jong-un will end in a head-shaving, and quite possibly a nuclear armageddon.

WWE Hall of Famer and US President Donald Trump today raised the stakes in his upcoming summit with North Korea, insisting that the “loser” of the summit would be subject to a public head-shaving.

The president is apparently keen to relive one of his most famous moments in sports-entertainment — the time he shaved the head of WWE mogul Vince McMahon at WrestleMania 23.

“I did it to Vince (McMahon), and believe me, I can do it to little Rocket Man,” Trump tweeted from his golden toilet aboard Air Force One, referring to North Korean leader Kim Jong-un (or possibly Max Moon).

According to White House sources, Trump has recruited Bobby Lashley to do all of the actual geopolitical negotiation at the summit, and appointed “Stone Cold” Steve Austin as the “special guest mediator,” while Trump himself will wait at ringside, lips puckered, for the shearing ceremony.

Although Trump is confident he’ll “win the summit” and shave Kim Jong-un’s head, North Korea’s state-run media reported today that the dictator is planning a counter-attack with his secret weapon, Adam Bomb.