Legendary sports-entertainer Shawn Michaels, who has struggled for decades in a brave battle against male pattern baldness, has finally been cured thanks to the team of “follicular engineers” who maintain the regal coif of WWE Hall of Famer and US “President” Donald Trump.
Michaels, 53, can once again embrace his “Sexy Boy” nickname thanks to the luxuriant swirls of golden fleece that now entwine his cranium, reminding longtime fans of his gloriously bemulleted heyday.
“I think I’m cute,” Michaels told reporters after emerging from the 20-hour hair-transplant surgery, conducted in “President” Trump’s personal salon in the west wing of Mar-A-Lago. “I know I’m sexy.”
Michaels (real name Higgly Michealbottoms) said he “can’t thank President Trump enough” for helping him get back “the look that d3rives the girls wild.”
According to sources within the White House, Trump decided to offer free hair treatment to Michaels after watching WWE Crown Jewel and realizing, as all wrestling fans did, that he could never get used to seeing Michaels bald.