Just days away from WrestleMania, a new study has confirmed what many have long suspected about WWE wrestlers: the vast majority of sports-entertainers sculpt their physiques and condition their bodies with performance-enhancing exercise. 

The study, published today in the New England Journal of Sports and Entertainment, reveals that the use of performance-enhancing workouts is rampant among professional wrestlers, as well as in similar sports like figure skating, cheerleading and water polo. 

Among the performance-enhancing practices revealed to be “commonplace” among WWE performers: 

  • Muscle-building via the repeated lifting of heavy objects such as barbells, dumbells, and each other
  • Body-sculpting, calorie-burning conditioning through regular cardiovascular exertion
  • Consumption of special substances known as “vegetables” and “lean healthy proteins,” and abstinence from the highly processed substances that compose the diet of the average WWE fan
  • Mind-altering “willpower,” which enables them to continue to exercise even when sore, tired, or not getting pushed

The study revealed that nearly every member of the WWE roster utilizes performance-enhancing exercise — with the one notable exception of Bobby Lashley, who has never been to a gym in his life and subsists entirely on Cool Ranch Doritos and Pabst Blue Ribbon. 

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