Demonic professional wrestler Kane shocked wrestling fans this week when he suddenly removed his trademark leather mask, then put it back on, then repeated the process nearly a dozen more times.
“The Big Red Monster has unmasked himself!” gasped commentator Michael Cole, adding moments later: “I’ve never seen anything like this since the previous time!”
For years, Kane’s mask was purported to shroud a face horribly disfigured by a childhood fire, which is why the wrestling world was so abuzz the first time he removed the mask, as well as the second through fourth times.
Fans have yet to receive a sufficient explanation as to why Kane’s face is not actually scarred, and are left to presume the so-called “scars” are purely psychological or fictional.
After a brief career in dentistry (unmasked, under a pseudonym), Kane spent many years hiding behind the gruesome leather visage, only to unmask and remask on a number of shocking occasions, including for a recent stint as a corporate executive.
Nobody is quite sure why he unmasked again this past Monday, though many industry insiders attribute it to “lazy writing.”
According to late-breaking reports, Kane’s mask is currently off, and, oh, wait, it’s on again.