In the main event of this year’s WrestleMania, star of bad movies Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will square off against the star of even worse movies, John Cena.
The match is the most anticipated showdown in WrestleMania history, and wrestling fans worldwide are split on which star of terrible movies will be victorious.
“If we predicted the outcome of the match based on the calibre of movies these guys have starred in, I think The Rock would win,” says wrestling analyst Stu Brockman.
“Rock’s movies are, overall, slightly less abysmal. But barely.”
Many pundits, however, are predicting that Cena will win the match, since he has taken a hiatus from filming dreadful cinematic turds in order to focus on wrestling. The Rock, meanwhile, has continued grinning and flexing and spouting insipid one-liners in vacuous claptrap like Journey 2.
One thing is certain: the match between Cena and The Rock at WrestleMania will be everything their movies are not: entertaining, crowd-pleasing and a reasonable length.