fatal 4-way
The four survivors of a Fatal 4-Way match that mercifully failed to live up to its name.

The pro wrestling world narrowly avoided tragedy today when all all the participants in a so-called Fatal Four-Way match somehow escaped with their lives.

Fans watched with grim, voyeuristic curiosity as WWE Superstars© Kane©, John Cena©, Roman Reigns© and Randy Orton© entered willingly into a match billed as a “Fatal Four-Way,” seemingly signing their own death warrants.

“It was horrifying to think they would pay such a heavy toll for their sport,” said one fan who witnessed the near-catastrophe at a WWE live event in Tallahassee.

“I was so relieved when all four men not only survived the match, but seemed relatively unhurt.”

The outcome of the match led some experts to speculate that “Fatal Four-Way” might be a misnomer for the match, since there is no record of any such match resulting in one death, let alone four.

Studies have also revealed that no wrestlers have ever died in a deathmatch, been truly buried alive in a Buried Alive match, been handicapped in a Handicap Match, or talented in a Divas Lingerie Pillow Fight.