cena college
John Cena played football for West Newbury Community College, where he majored in feminist poetry and minored in thuganomics and project management. 

Although sports-entertainer John Cena skyrocketed to popularity as the so-called Doctor of Thuganomics, academic transcripts obtained by Kayfabe News reveal that his highest level of education in the subject was a diploma in “Basic Thuganomics and Project Management” in 1996 from West Newbury Community College.

Obtained via requests through the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA), the transcripts reveal that Cena’s grades in Basic Thuganomics 101 were in the lowest 10th percentile, largely because he frequently skipped class to lift weights and perform freestyle rap battles at 8 Mile Road in Detroit. 

Due to the recent revelations about his credentials, or lack thereof, Cena is currently under investigation by the American Thuganomical Society (ATS), which will decide whether his misrepresentation of his credentials warrants stripping him of his thugonomist’s licence. 

“Mr. Cena calling himself a doctor of thuganomics is an insult to those of us who actually earned our PhDs,” tweeted one noted doctor of style, Slick. 

Cena could face prison time for impersonating a doctor. Asked how much prison time Cena might be facing, his lawyer replied: “In a word: life.” 


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