Fans of professional sports-entertainment were nearly unanimous their distaste for the announcement last week that Kurt Angle’s retirement match at WrestleMania would be against Baron Corbin, so WWE has “spiced things up” by adding Sin Cara for a three-way dance.
“We listen to the WWE Universe, quite frankly” said company chairman Vlad “Vince” McMahon during a press conference this morning in New York City.
“We heard the fans loud and clear, quite frankly,” added McMahon, his tone quite frank, “and they wanted Sin Cara in this match, so we’re giving it, quite frankly.”
To really give the fans the match they’ve dreamed of, WWE added several stipulations:
- Angle vs. Corbin vs. Cara will be held inside the Punjabi Prison
- The match will have a two-hour time limit
- The guest commentators for the match will be Mike Adamle and Elvira
- The part of Sin Cara will be portrayed by Hunico, who will also play the role of Brock Lesnar later in the event
WWE also announced today that, “to keep things moving quickly,” Flo Rida’s 40-minute set will be performed during the Andre the Giant Battle Royal, thereby keeping the entire event to a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nine hours.