A renowned Harvard statistician has published a damning report that offers “definitive proof” that entrants into WWE’s Royal Rumble match arrive in a predetermined, non-random order.

“Far from being random, the entry order of Royal Rumble participants suggests deliberate orchestration to heighten drama and suspense, in accordance with existing ‘storylines’ and ‘feuds’ in WWE,” concludes the controversial report, published this week in the Harvard Journal of Sport Statistics.

Prof. Ian Alexander, lead author of the study, says a comprehensive statistical survey of the past 20 Royal Rumble matches reveals a “shocking degree” of non-random elements, particularly regarding the number-0ne and number 30 entrants.

“Ax and Smash were the first two entrants in 1989, and an unlikely number of Rumble winners who outlasted all 29 other men — the odds against such things happening are astronomical,” said Alexander.

While the survey strongly suggests rigged entry orders for marquee stars, it also concludes that the order is essentially random for the 27 other schmucks who stand absolutely no chance of winning.

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