World Wrestling Entertainment has reportedly struck a deal with Brock Lesnar to rejoin the company, in spite of that ridiculous dagger tattoo he acquired on his torso since his last WWE tenure.
“We are pleased to officially announce that Brock Lesnar is once again a WWE superstar,” reads a press release issued just hours before WrestleMania 28.
“We hope the WWE Universe will just kind of ignore that stupid knife thingy on his chest.”
It has been six years since Lesnar last competed in a WWE ring, during which time he competed successfully in mixed martial arts and made the terrible decision to get a phallic dagger indelibly inked into his skin.
The tattoo was reportedly designed by a 15-year-old juvenile delinquent who doodled it on the back of a bus schedule while waiting for some friends at McDonalds. No one is sure how Lesnar found the design — or why, for the love of God, he decided to get the stupid thing tattooed onto his massive chest.
Sources within WWE report that the company has offered to pay for the laser-removal of Lesnar’s the tattoo.
In the meantime, the company intends to digitally blur it out like they do with the old WWF logo in archival footage.