According to a press release issued today by World Wrestling Entertainment, heir-apparent Shane McMahon definitively defeated The Undertaker at WrestleMania, thereby earning the right to control Monday Night Raw.
“Shane McMahon vanquished The Phenom® at the Grandest Stage of Them All®,” reads the press release, WWE issued today to “quell confusion” over the subject.
“So tonight, Shane-O-Mac® will once again exercise his hard-earned right to run Monday Night Raw®!”
According to the press release, McMahon hurled The Undertaker off the “75-foot-tall Hell in a Cell®” structure, then defeated the Deadman via clean pinfall at the 21:38 mark.
In accordance with the air-tight stipulations of the match, says the press release, McMahon earned control of Raw and The Undertaker has retired.
Countless irate fans have taken to social media to insist they actually witnessed The Undertaker win the match, thereby nullifying the stipulations, but WWE dismisses these claims as “a mass hallucination.”