Emergency rooms around the world were overwhelmed last night due to a massive influx of wrestling fans suffering from Twitter-related injuries.
At least 7,000 people in 22 countries surged into hospitals with a slew of ailments, ranging from relatively mild cases of bleeding thumbs and blurred vision to severe bouts of babbling incoherently from excessive hashtagging.
The epidemic reached its peak shortly past 10:30 p.m. EST, halfway through the mega-hyped WrestleMania main event match between The Rock and John Cena.
Statistics show that Twitter usage among wrestling fans reached staggering levels at that time, with all 10 of the worldwide “trending” topics referring to the WWE pay-per-view event.
At 10:34 p.m., the global trending topics were: