A man recently released from a detention center in northwestern India reported that his seven-year incarceration in the Punjabi prison was preferable to watching a WWE Punjabi Prison match. 

“For seven years, I ate stale bread and got a single spoonful of water each day,” said Sandip Gurwal, who was locked up in Punjab State Prison after stealing a loaf of bread for his family.

“Even so, I would rather be stuck in that Punjabi prison than sit through that ridiculous match again.”

Added Gurwal: “It was pure torture. The match, I mean. My incarceration was OK.”

The Punjabi Prison match is so brutal — on the audience, not the performers — that WWE has only staged it thrice. It involves two bamboo cages surrounding the ring, one taller than other other, and a series of doors that open or close at scheduled intervals, governed by a set of obscure rules that nobody fully understands.

According to some rumors, the Punjabi Prison cage was recently dismantled so the bamboo could be used for a backyard gazebo at Vince McMahon’s Connecticut mansion.