The International Olympic Committee announced today that, after decades of being maligned as a fringe sport, professional wrestling will be featured at the 2020 Summer Games.
The committee decreed that pro wrestling is “far more entertaining than amateur wrestling” and “not nearly as silly as synchronized swimming.”
The 2020 Olympic games will feature pro wrestlers competing on behalf of their home countries in a single elimination tournament, culminating in a gold medal Hell in a Cell match.
Early reports indicate that Cesaro will represent Switzerland, Kofi Kingston will represent both Ghana and Jamaica, Brock Lesnar will represent Canada, and Damien Demento will come out of retirement to wrestle on behalf of The Outer Reaches of Your Mind. Kurt Angle will compete in the pole vault.
A number of media outlets have decried the IOC’s decision to introduce professional wrestling to the Olympics, due to unfounded allegations that the matches could be rigged.
But Thomas Bach, president of the IOC, replied curtly: “It’s what’s best for business.