The grapplers of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) eventually got out of Saudi Arabia last week after a long and mysterious delay — except for Zachary “Zack” Ryder, who was in the restroom when his colleagues began their belated journey home.
Witnesses have reported seeing Ryder wandering aimlessly around Jeddah’s King Abdulaziz International Airport, occasionally whimpering plaintively: “Guys? Where are you guys?”
The chartered flight carrying the rest of the WWE roster was 700 miles over the Pacific Ocean before WWE honcho Vince McMahon realized he had left Ryder home abroad. “Zack!” McMahon yepled. “Oh my god, Zack!”
Ryder has reportedly been surviving on food scraps behind a falafel restaurant, occasionally signing autographs for Saudi children who think he is Edge.
McMahon has reportedly promised to rescue Ryder, and has deployed from Miami his second-fastest yacht to do so.