Professional wrestler and hillbilly prophet Bray Wyatt was perplexed this morning to discover that the typically well-groomed lawn of his family compound had been recklessly mowed.

“What the…” mumbled Wyatt, groggily wiping his tired eyes after a busy evening of terrifying a trio of visiting unicorns.

“Well that’s odd,” he added, surveying the unevenly mowed grass, “even for here.”

Upon closer inspection, Wyatt realized that someone on a riding lawnmower had carved the words “IT’S OVAH” into the lush grasses of his secluded hideaway in Parts Unknown.

Wyatt asked members of his family if they had done the unusual mowing, but Erick Rowan merely tilted his head quizzically, and Braun Strowman emitted a bearlike roar.

Out of the corner of his eye, Wyatt could have sworn he spotted a quad-rotor drone flying above the trees, but he dismissed it as one of his trademark madness-induced hallucinations.

Throughout the day, however, Wyatt was sure he could hear the distant tinkling of piano music, and confessed he felt generally “weirded out.”

 

Leave a Comment