World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that it will “help make the world a better place” through a renewed commitment to reduce its Corbin footprint.
“We vow to reduce our Corbin emissions by 25 percent each year,” reads a press release issued today by the company’s Connecticut headquarters. “By 2022, we aim to be completely Corbin-free, making WWE a so-called ‘Barren Corbin’ organization.”
Corbin pollution has been a worsening problem in WWE since 2012, with Corbin emissions reaching an all-time high in 2016 following the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. WWE Hall of Famer and US “President” Donald Trump, however, insists that the “so-called science” behind Corbin emissions is a hoax perpetrated “by the Jinese.”
Reducing its Corbin footprint is part of WWE’s new multi-faceted “Sustainability Plan,” which includes other innovations such as:
- Ensuring in-ring food fights are conducted with organic, non-GMO vegan products
- Replacing “steel cage” matches with free-range matches
- Preserving WCW’s Glacier from receding any further from visibility
WWE also announced its commitment to protecting wildlife, “to ensure that endangered species such as the endangered alexander wolf can dash wilder.”