During a media conference call this afternoon, sports-entertainment mogul Vince McMahon said “it is time to heat things up, quite frankly” as he unveiled the updated name and branding of Monday Night Raw, now renamed RAW 2.o — COOKED.

McMahon said the old Monday Night Raw had become “passe, quite frankly,” and he said it in a way that was indeed quite frank. 

RAW 2.0 — COOKED will, according to a WWE press release, will feature a number of new programming elements, such as: 

• A fourth hour 
• And a fifth hour, allowing time for more pre-taped backstage skits
• Rather than the traditional red, ring ropes will be made of a new type of perfectly transparent polymer. It creates the effect of wrestlers bouncing off of invisible force-fields, and McMahon told reporters on the call that it was “such good… stuff, and things of that nature, quite frankly.”
• All logos, graphics, lower-thirds, animations and TitanTron entrances must contain every colour of the rainbow and the entire visible spectrum. 
• In the name of equality, the card of RAW 2.0 — COOKED will always be at least 85 percent women’s matches. 
• Goldberg will be crowned the first-ever RAW 2.0 — COOKED Heavyweight Champion after winning a tournament in Rio that was unfortunately not video-recorded. 

RAW 2.0 — COOKED debuts next Monday in a new time-slot, 1:45 am Mountain Time (only). 

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