Due to the overwhelming fan excitement regarding the returns of Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair for this week’s Crown Jewel event in [REDACTED], World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that the company will launch LST, a “redevelopmental” league for wrestlers over the age of 65.

The name of the league, LST, is a nonsense acronym that borrows the pretentious schtick of removing vowels from words, like developmental league NXT and the new AEW rookie division, SBSQNT (pronounced “subsequent”).

hogan flair match
Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan will square off at the inaugural LST event in a Five Minute Iron Man Match.

The first pay-per-view event for the new division, LST Combover Boca Raton, is scheduled to take place in a Florida retirement complex on a weekday afternoon, sometime before 4:30pm dinnertime.

Among the matches rumored for LST Combover are:

  • Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco in a long-awaited “Battle of the Stooges”
  • The Iron Sheik in a freestyle rap-off against his own reflection
  • The Shockmaster vs. Akeem vs. One Man Gang
  • Main event: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair in a “Five Minute Iron Man Match”

According to one source within the company, LST will use a specially padded ring to prevent hip fractures, and physical contact of any kind will be strictly prohibited.


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