Although Hulkamania is immortal, the man who has long portrayed the Hulk Hogan character, Terry Bollea, is pushing 70, and World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) is searching for a suitable replacement to play “The Hulkster” from 2024 onward. 

“The Hulk Hogan persona is one of our most popular brands, quite frankly,” said WWE honcho Vince McMahon, “but quite frankly Terry Bollea is getting a bit old for the part.”

Bollea has portrayed the role of Hulk Hogan since the early 1980s, and had incredible success for decades, but the wear-and-tear of the business, incessant tanning, and suing Buzzfeed into nonexistence have taken their toll on the 69-year-old. 

“I’m happy to pass on the role of Hulk Hogan to the next generation,” said Bollea. “I’ve done all I can do, and I have run out of things to tell my brother, so it’d time to hang up the feather boa and skullet.” 

Rumors began circulating yesterday that Drew McIntyre may be the heir to the “Hulk Hogan” name, since he was recently spotted with bleached hair and a handlebar moustache.