WWE financial
Snitsky insists the WWE Network subscription rate is the fault of poor marketing, not him.

World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. (WWE) today  reported a nearly $15 million second-quarter net loss, which gargantuan former wrestler Snitsky adamantly insists was not his fault.

Said Snitsky when reading a prepared statement to reporters: “It’s not my fault.”

The doll-punting freak further denied any responsibility for the lower-than-hoped subscription rate for the WWE Network, which has reached a reported 700,000 subscriptions instead of the projected 1 million.

“Don’t look at me,” insisted Snitsky, though many observers described his eyes as “shifty.”

WWE executives tried to put a positive spin on the company’s financial situation, neither confirming nor denying the culpability of Snitsky in the volatility of WWE stock.

“WWE’s core business metrics remain strong, and WWE Network continues to be the single greatest opportunity to transform WWE’s business model,” company chairman Vince McMahon stated in a press release, adding that  “any connection to an oversized gargoyle with bad teeth is purely coincidental.”

Snitsky has historically denied responsibility for all manner of WWE catastrophes, from the miscarriage of Kane and Lita’s rape-baby to the Montreal Screwjob.

He is still a suspect in the case of the McMahon limo bombing.


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