wwe middle east
WWE Chairman Vince McMahon says the Middle East is the newest wrestling territory in which to expand his monopoly.

After its highly successful and lucrative Bestest Royalest Rumbliest Rumble Ever ever in Saudi Arabia, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that, starting in July, it will fully relocate its operations to the Middle East.

A “For Lease” sign now hangs in the front window of the company’s longtime headquarters in Stamford, CT — the so-called Titan Towers — and McMahon has reportedly purchased office space in floors 493 to 497 in Dubai’s Burj Khalifa skyscraper.

“Quite frankly, it’s what’s best for business,” said WWE Chairman Vince McMahon at a press conference this morning, rubbing his fingers together in the cha-ching gesture. Added McMahon: “Quite frankly.”

The vast majority of WWE programming and live events will now be held in Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain and Qatar — except for The Greatest American Bash, which will be held in Shanghai, China.

North American fans will still get to watch Raw and SmackDown live every Monday and Tuesday at noon EST, and fans in the UK will finally get to sleep at a reasonable hour on those nights.

Once a year, WWE will return to the United States to hold The Second-Greatest Royal Rumble.