World Wrestling Entertainment’s 24-hour video-streaming service, the WWE Network, is “too glitchy” and “not updated frequently enough,” insists Cory Spencer, a 19-year-old overprivileged wrestling fan too young to remember tape-trading.
“I can’t believe the network doesn’t have all the house shows from the Funks’ Amarillo territory yet,” says the entitled millennia twerp, who has never felt the anticipation of waiting weeks for a grainy VHS tape to arrive in the mail.
Having suckled the digital teat of the internet since birth, Spencer has no concept of the lengths wrestling fans once went to see anything besides the syndicated programming that happened to air on Saturday afternoon television.
Rather than celebrate the modern miracle of on-demand video-streaming, the spoiled little turd whines about sporadic glitches and minor omissions from the WWE Network’s massive catalogue.
Earlier today, Spencer complained on Reddit about someone posting NXT spoilers, despite never having waited an entire month for the next issue of Pro Wrestling Illustrated to find out about wrestling in far-flung territories.
He also recently whined that “frigging WWE.com doesn’t look very good on my phone,” which inspired a 41-year-old lifelong wrestling fan standing nearby to slap him upside the head.