The WWE Network, the on-demand video streaming service from World Wrestling Entertainment, launched in more than 170 countries worldwide today, sparking a sudden and dramatic drop in the average global IQ.
Wrestling fans in Australia, Canada, Hong Kong, Mexico, Spain and elsewhere now have 24-hour access to WWE action and specialty programming, resulting in a significant decline in reading comprehension, basic mathematics and critical thinking.
Whereas the populaces of countries like Canada and England previously boasted higher-than-average intelligence scores, those results have seen a precipitous drop due to their new easy access to Total Divas, Legends House and pretty much the entirety of the Attitude Era.
The global average IQ is now reported to be on par with that of the United States, causing the UN to declare a state of national emergency.
Some experts believe that if the WWE Network is allowed to continue proliferating around the globe, the entire human race will render itself extinct from malnutrition and sexual deprivation by the year 2021.
Education experts are lobbying WWE to reverse the trend by adding educational programming featuring Lanny Poffo, Dean Douglas and Matt Striker.