Nearly a week after a main-event finish that left many fans of sports-entertainment confused and angry, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) finally issued an official statement on the matter.
“Dear members of the WWE Universe,” reads the statement. “Did we do something that made you cry your little baby tears? Go run home to mommy and tell her about it.”
The statement continues in similar fashion:
“Did it make you sad when the mean old referee made the bell go ding-ding before you wanted it to? You poor things. Did it make you so sad that you typey-typed your sad little complaints on Twitter, so your dozen followers could make you feel better by clicking the little heart-shaped button? That’s adorable. You are special, unique, and loved. Is that what you need to hear. Christ, shut up already.”
The incident in question was a match in which Seth T. Rollins battled against The Fiend (portrayed by Curtis Axel) inside the candy-apple-red Hell in a Cell roofed cage.
Fans expressed their frustration en masse when the match, ostensibly a no-disqualification bout, ended with a referee stoppage.
Addressing widespread criticism that the match conclusion made no sense, WWE responded directly in the statement: “Wah-wah, crybabies. Life doesn’t always go the way you want it, you know. Wait until you grow up and have to face difficult situations in the real world. Do you think your future boss at McDonalds is going to care that a customer was mean to you? Good lord, kids, grow a pair.”