Thanks to the rising popularity of matches pitting past-their-prime professional sports-entertainers against one another — such as the recent bout between Triple H (age 58) and The Undertaker (age 72) — World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today the launch of its new Seniors Division.
“The Superstars of yesteryear are more popular than ever, and they’re not giving up the spotlight without a fight,” reads a press release issued this morning from WWE’s Connecticut headquarters.
“If you thought the sight of a bald-headed Shawn Michaels reunited DX with a similarly chrome-domed Triple H was painfully nostalgic, wait until you see The Killer Bees versus The Rock and Roll Express!”
As opposed to NXT, where hungry young rookies learn the ropes as “developmental” talent, the superstars of the Seniors League will perform in a weekly show called LST, which will air conveniently between Jeopardy and Matlock.
Attractions announced so far for the Seniors Smackdown pay-per-view, which will be broadcast live from the Shady Acres Retirement Community in Boca Raton, include:
- Jimmy Valiant vs. Nikita Koloff
- Leilani Kai vs. Rockin’ Robin (for the LST Women’s Championship)
- Brutus Beefcake vs. Hulk Hogan (in a Hair vs. Wispy Strands match)
- Hillbilly Jim’s WWE Hall of Fame induction speech continuation
- Undertaker vs. Triple H (Last Time Ever Part IV)
- Ric Flair vs. Harley Race in an Ironman Match (10 minute time limit).
As a precautionary measure to prevent hip dislocations and other injuries to brittle bones, matches will be contested on a forgiving foam-rubber pad, and physical contact will be strictly limited to headlocks.