wrestling referee
WWE referee Scott Armstrong is recovering after being knocked out cole for the 74th time this year.

Professional wrestling referee Scott Armstrong is recovering at home today after being knocked unconscious for five minutes when a friend gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

An MRI revealed no significant brain damage, but doctors are still baffled as to why Armstrong would lose consciousness for so long after such gentle physical contact.

Due to his temporary unconsciousness, Armstrong was unable to see numerous misdeeds happening nearby, such as his children stealing money from his wallet and his wife flirting with a nurse.

The incident marked the 74th time this year Armstrong has been knocked out by a seemingly innocuous bump, nudge, hiccup, mosquito bite or gentle breeze.

His fellow referees in World Wrestling Entertainment suffer from similar afflictions, as well as mysterious maladies like temporary blindness and an unusually high susceptibility to distraction.

It has been suggested that WWE referees should wear protective headgear, but every WWE heel signed a petition against the idea.