With its bombastic personalities and vengeance-driven storylines, professional wrestling “teaches impressionable youth that bullying and violence are OK,” says a dorky academic who is practically begging to be punched in the face.

“Wrestling fosters the false impression that physical violence is the only solution to interpersonal differences,” says Dr. Leonard Cavendish, a candy-ass Harvard sociologist whom someone needs to knock some sense into.

According to a report published this week in the Harvard Review of Cultural Studies, children who regularly watch World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) are “more likely to be antisocial and rebellious against authority figures,” which is exactly what a bunch of snooty Harvard eggheads would say.

“Wrestling fans also tend to distrust science and academia,” report the stupid untrue report.

The report further concludes that regular exposure to pro wrestling “results in diminished communication skills and vocabulary,” to which the world’s wrestling fans unanimously rebutted with a simultaneous “WHAT!?”



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