Fans of professional wrestling — a subculture never accused of being the sharpest spoons in the shed — seem to be near-universal in their willingness to ignore the fact that the term “all elite” is an oxymoron does not make sense. 

As any sensible person intuitively understands, the term “elite” refers to a subgroup that is superior in some regards to the larger group to which it belongs. 

It logically impossible in any dynamic human environment — such as the roster of All Elite Wrestling (AEW), with its 328 active members — to be “all elite.” 

If all wrestlers were indeed elite, how would the undercard be distinguished from the main event? How would legends such as Wardlow and Hook be distinguished from curtain-jerking ham-and-eggers like MJF and Brian McDanielface? 

Even in smaller subgroups with high-achieving members — the Heenan Family, for example — not all members can be considered elite (a concept known in the wrestling business as the The Red Rooster Precedent). 

AEW President Tony “Killer” Khan has not returned phone or email messages from Kayfabe News, because we did not call or email him, but we assume he would say something like this on the matter: “Please stop contacting me, per the terms of the restraining order.”

All of your wrestling shirts suck compared to this one, so get it: