Mae young twerking
Mae Young is expected to twerk on live television, which has sent a wave of terror through the nation.

Fans of professional wrestling worldwide are mentally preparing themselves to witness, any day now, the horrific sight of elderly female wrestler Mae Young twerking.

It is a foregone conclusion that WWE Chairman Vince McMahon will soon insist that 90-year-old Young twerk on live television or pay-per-view.

McMahon has reportedly been obsessed with the idea for the past week, having keenly watched footage of former teen star Miley Cyrus twerking at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Twerking, a highly sexualized dance move in which the performer repeatedly thrusts her buttocks in a vertical motion, has become a buzzword since Cyrus’ notorious performance, and McMahon is intent on milking the pop-culture trend.

Mae Young, who has proven her willingness to do anything for a paycheque (including giving birth to a prosthetic hand) is reportedly enthusiastic about the prospect of twerking on TV, even though most fans are terrified by the very notion.

Young suffered a setback yesterday, however, after dislocating her hip during her very first twerk.