Despite his encyclopedic knowledge of pro wrestling and his impressive wardrobe of t-shirts from WWEShop.com, 27-year-old Todd Murphy says he is inexplicably incapable of “getting over” with the fairer sex.
“When it comes to the ladies, I just can’t seem to get a push,” said Murphy, whose near-complete collection of LJN WWF action figures has somehow failed to impress a single female.
“It’s like I’m being buried or something.”
Murphy says he has adamantly tried to “work a babyface gimmick” when courting women online, but has gotten only “X-Pac heat” in return.
“My workrate is strong, so I don’t know why the ladies keep no-selling my move-set,” he confessed.
Murphy said he hopes to someday meet a nice “ring rat” because he’s “getting pretty tired of jobbing to the five-knuckle shuffle.”