Wrestling fan brags to friends of “sick bump” he took, but omits detail of tripping over cat
Todd Henderson, a self-described “wrestling superfan” from Tuscaloosa, regaled his friends for a full 40 minutes about a “sick, insane bump” he took this week, but failed to mention several embarrassing details, such as the fact that he tripped over his cat and landed in a plate of half-eaten week-old pizza.
Henderson, 27, described his bump as a “cross between Foley’s cell fall and the infamous Zandig-Mondo spot,” referring to infamous death-defying falls endured by hardcore wrestlers, but in actuality his fall was more reminiscent of a senior citizen in a commercial for a Life Alert emergency bracelet.
Despite Henderson’s description of a “textbook flat-back bump,” what truly happened was that he tripped over his cat, Rey-Rey, then slipped on a replica Intercontinental Championship belt, and his fall was cushioned by the layer of soiled clothing and discarded foodstuffs in his slovenly subterranean bedroom.
When later telling the story to his disinterested friends, he also left out such details as:
- He was naked from the waist down
- He sprained his thumb in the fall, which is mother, Doreen, later bandaged with a splint and kissed better
- His “bump” was his third fall this week, the first two having been caused by light-headedness after standing up too quickly following a large meal of Slim Jims.
Henderson told his friends he may volunteer to teach a “bumping class” at the local pro wrestling school, at which point his friends had no choice but to burst into uproarious laughter.