wrestlemania cancelledJust weeks before its annual pay-per-view spectacular was set unfold, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that WrestleMania 33 has been called off due to lower-than-anticipated ticket sales. 

Although Orlando’s Camping World Stadium can accommodate an estimated 65,000 spectators, only 147 of those tickets had been sold at the time WWE made the decision to cancel the April 2 event. 

According to WWE Chairman Vince McMahon, who spoke at a press conference this morning at his Mac-A-Lago resort, ticket sales were “quite frankly, disappointing, quite frankly.”

A message to WWE shareholders revealed that, of the 147 tickets sold, several-dozen were to independent wrestlers hoping to sneak backstage wearing Druid costumes. 

The company cited several factors that may have led to low sales, including:

  • The price of ringside seats, which ranges from $15,000 to $1.7 million apiece. 
  • Donald Trump’s new travel ban on people who chant “What?!” at large public gatherings
  • Wrestling fans collectively realizing they never want to leave home again after the leak of several explicit videos involving wrestlers
  • Nobody wants to see Roman Reigns defeat The Undertaker

Instead of airing WrestleMania on April 2, the WWE Network will feature a special documentary about the most thought-provoking philosophical debates of Total Divas.