More than 80,000 fans of professional sports-entertainment packed into New
York’s Jersey’s MetLife Center Stadium tonight for WrestleMania, and many were treated to a surprise 10-percent-off coupon for surgery to remedy the damage caused by the show’s blinding lights.
WWE crew members handed out the coupons to members of the WrestleMania audience who were noticeably bleeding from their eyes or shrieking in pain.
“Oh dear God, it burns!” screamed attendee Todd Smith of Topeka, who paid $300 for his upper-deck ticket. “I can’t see anything! Oh God, oh God no!”
Smith could not actually see the coupon, but when a crew member told him it was for discounted retinal repair, Smith whimpered and asked: “Why couldn’t they just shut off the goddamn lights? Whyyyyy!”
A spokesperson for WWE said that fans who have concerns about being blinded at future events should “just bring sunglasses next time.”