In what is being described by some critics as concerning aberration from tradition, World Wrestling Entertainment announed today that it will soon begin holding its flagship annual extravaganza exclusively in oil-rich Middle Eastern countries.

WWE chairman and honorary Saudi prince Vince bin McMahon said it is “quite frankly time” for WrestleMania to spread freedom and liberation to what’s known as “wealthy shithole nations, quite frankly.”

A leaked contact between McMahon and the Saudi organizer reveals several demands made by the host country:
– battle royal must contain 120 wrestlers
– Lex Luger must be bodyslammed by Mansoor on the deck of a Saudi oil tanker
– Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant (no exceptions)
– Women’s battle royal (Dark match — stadium lights switched off entirely)

The event will be held on April 7, 2022 — a Tuesday, at 3:30 am ET.

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