Popular Irish sports-entertainer Rebecca “Becky” Lynch shocked fans of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Monday when she announced she is expecting a child, but one big question remains: who is the father?
Given WWE’s long history of surprise pregnancies — from Lita’s miscarried punt-baby to Mae Young’s hand — and the question of paternity often leads to entertaining intrigue and mystery.
When Lynch announced her pregnancy on Raw, she did not reveal the identity of the father — and we may never know unless she goes on the Maury Povich Show.
But our team of experts used computer-modelling and statistical analysis to produce this tally of the top-five candidates:
The big many is riding high with his recent Money in the Bank victory, which makes him arguably the greatest superstar in pro wrestling history. Would it be any wonder if Becky and Otis became WWE’s new power couple? Sources close to Otis say he has been talking about his desire to be a father to some lightweight machinery.
Your buddy’s cousin’s coworker’s brother
Brad — is is it Brian? — from work — he totally knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who says he totally made a baby with Becky Lynch. Is this a reliable rumor? In a post-truth world, sure!
Petite, beautiful, and Irish. Hornswoggle is a beautiful specimen, and Becky ain’t too shabby herself. What a pair they’d make! But can the build a life together, with a child, in Swoggle’s home under the ring.
Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry
According to lore, women get pregnant just by being in the same building as Mark Henry. He once impregnated an entire busload of swimsuit models just by smiling at them. Whether he impregnated Becky Lynch remains unknown, but given his incredible virility and, it’s not out of the question to assume that Sexual Chocolate goes nicely with Irish Cream.
Despite his advanced age, Mr. McMahon reportedly keeps the “grapefruits juicy” and the “genetic jackhammer hammering.” According to one unconfirmed rumor, McMahon has enough power within WWE to impregnate merely by writing a strongly-worded memo about it. Once he made Sensational Sheri pregnant just by faxing her a picture of himself shirtless.
We’re not saying he is definitely father, but McMahon was reportedly overheard saying backstage at Raw today: “It was me. It was me all along.”