nicholas wwe
A mugshot from one of Nicholas’ many arrests in connection to a tumultuous “friendship” with Tammy Sytch.

The world of professional sports-entertaining was abuzz last spring when Nicholas [SURNAME UNKNOWN], a 10-year-old boy plucked from the WrestleMania 34 crowd to become Braun Strowman’s tag partner, led his team to victory against Sheamus [SURNAME UNKNOWN] and [FIRST NAME REDACTED] Cesaro.

Although the future looked bright for Nicholas as the second-youngest WWE Tag Team Champion in history (The 1-2-3- Kid still holds the record, as he was only nine when he captured gold with Marty Jannetty), Nicholas shockingly relinquished his championship the night after WrestleMania, allowing the vacated championship to be captured by Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt at The Greatest Royal Rumble in [LOCATION REDACTED].

Many fans have been left wondering what Nicholas has been up to since his brief moment in the WWE spotlight.

Unfortunately, the meteoric rise of Nicholas preceded an even more drastic descent into misfortune, crime, and ultimately madness, according to an investigative report conducted by Kayfabe News over the past several months.

Here is a timeline:

April 8, 2018: Braun Strowman chooses Nicholas as his tag team partner, to the shock and confusion of 70,000 fans at the Silver Super Dome and millions watching around the world. Even more shocking, Nicholas wins the match for his team by press-slamming Sheamus and finishing him off with a springboard corkscrew moonsault.

April 9, 2018: Nicholas relinquishes the championship, insisting he needs time to finish elementary school and “find his smile.” This storyline is, however, merely a cover-up of his 30-day Wellness Policy violation after testing positive for Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.

April 10, 2018: Nicholas is suspended from school for telling his social studies teacher to “get these hands.”

April 29, 2018: Nicholas starts taking indy bookings, occasionally tagging with Brian Cage to form the team “Nicholas Cage.”

May 12, 2018: Nicholas is involved in a backstage brawl with Lanny Poffo at a legion hall in Tallahassee, causing Nicholas to be blacklisted from Florida Wrestling Alliance and nearby independent promotions.

May 17, 2018: Nicholas is taken into custody in the first of many arrests. Police are called to a domestic argument between Nicholas and Tammy Sytch, who were heard by neighbors bickering over whose turn it was to play the PS4.

June 2, 2018: With indy bookings drying up in America, Nicholas heads to Mexico, where he works under a mask as El Puberto.

June 15, 2018: After running afoul of Mexican drug cartel leaders, Nicholas flees Mexico and heads to Japan, where he performs once in the ill-fated “Projectile Gang,” which is disbanded after a copyright-infringement suit is filed by the Bullet Club.

July 6, 2018: Disheveled and overweight, Nicholas arrives three hours late for an autograph signing at Heroes of the Squared Circle convention in Delaware, and is thrown out after engaging in a shouting match with The Iron Sheik and urinating on a stack of eight-by-ten photographs of Bobby Fulton.

July 29 to October 17, 2018: Nicholas spends more than two months living in the house of Diamond Dallas Page, where he is put through a gruelling regimen of listening to Diamond Dallas Page shout inspirational slogans. After nine weeks, Nicholas falls off the wagon and is found sleeping under a bridge in Atlanta, having overdosed on Kit Kats and Sour Patch Kids.

October 26, 2018: Nicholas is granted a tryout match with WWE, but is pulled from the event moments before belltime due to a violation of WWE’s Tallness Policy.

October 27, 2018: Nicholas lands in hot water after tweeting that WWE honcho Vince McMahon is a “poopyhead.” Nicholas later claims his Twitter account was hacked.

November 4, 2o18 to present: According to veteran wrestling journalist Dan Mutzler, Nicholas has moved back to Mexico, where he is living in an orphanage run by a ginger-bearded luchador. Braun Strowman has said he can “neither confirm nor deny” rumors that he is in the process of adopting Nicholas in hopes of a tag team reunion and second championship run.




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