In this week’s instalment of “Where Are They Now,” Kayfabe News looks back at the brief but memorable sports-entertaining career of Brains Strowman, the erudite twin brother of Braun Strowman.
Fans of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) were introduced to Brains a week prior to WrestleMania 34, after his brother announced that the siblings would team up at the event to face Sheamus and Cesaro.
Keen-eyed viewers noticed some similarities between the brothers — freakish physique, facial hair, tattoos — in spite of the many unique differences between them.
Brains, for example, clearly has failing eyesight, given the thick-rimmed glasses he wears (reportedly given to him by Bubba Ray Dudley), and prefers more formal attire than his brother’s penchant for tank tops and camouflage trousers.
Because the two brothers did not appear simultaneously, most fans may not have noticed that Brains is slightly shorter, has blue eyes instead of brown, and is left-handed instead of right.
Some conspiracy-minded fans actually suggested that Braun and Brains are the same person, but that is clearly nonsense because it would imply deceit in pro wrestling.
Brains decided not to tag with his brother at WrestleMania because he “abhors violence,” and instead returning to his job as a professor of postmodern feminist literature at Yale University.
“My brother Braun was always the athletic one, and I prefer more bookish pursuits, so I decided to forego the squared circle in favor of the library,” said Brains. After a moment’s contemplation, he added: “Raawwwrrrrrr.”