heyman punk
A walrus (left) dangerously attacked a wolverine last night.

With rare and spectacular ferocity, an blubbery Arctic walrus attacked and bloodied a wolverine yesterday, leaving the smaller but feistier creature barely able to walk.

Typically lethargic due to its blubbery enormity, the walrus showed uncharacteristic aggression when it attacked the wolverine with one of its long tusks.

The walrus howled mournfully while repeatedly lashing the wolverine across the back, as if the attack had some kind of powerful emotional resonance.

The wolverine, which is usually a much fiercer predator, seemed unable to defend itself because its forelimbs were tangled in foliage.

Nature photographers who filmed the attack said it was utterly compelling, and believe that the battered wolverine will soon likely get its revenge.

Witnesses said it is unusual for a walrus to behave so “dangerously.”

In completely unrelated news, Paul Heyman attacked CM Punk on WWE television last night.