Popular WWE tag-team The Usos issued a statement today confirming widespread rumors that they are actually just former WWE superstar Umaga split in half vertically.
“Jimmy and I apologize for any confusion regarding our true identity,” wrote Jey Uso in the statement published on the official World Wrestling Entertainment website.
Details are unclear about how, exactly, Umaga became split in half, especially since the so-called Samoan Bulldozer passed away in 2009.
In retrospect, however, many wrestling pundits admit that it makes perfect sense, given that the Usos began making waves in the wrestling industry very shortly after Umaga disappeared from the spotlight.
“The resemblance is uncanny,” wrote wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer. “I mean, it should be medically impossible, but there’s no denying the evidence that Umaga was actually two Usos glued together.”
The Usos said they will adjust their trademark call-and-response routine to reflect their true identity: “When we say Uma, y’all say Gaaaa!”
Only one person in WWE claims to have known the Usos’ true identity all along: “I always knew they were Youmanga,” said William Regal.