sasha banks
Boss, yes. Legit? Not in the eyes of the law.

The parents of professional wrestler Sasha Banks tearfully admitted today that, despite their famous daughter’s nickname, she was born out of wedlock, technically making her an Illegit Boss.

“Sasha will always be legit in our hearts,” sobbed father Melvin Banks, “but her bling is indeed misleading.”

Since signing with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) in 2012, Banks’ feisty personality and aggressive ring style have earned her an air of legitimacy, despite her legal status as a bastard.

Her parents, Melvin and Delores, met in 1991 at a concert by Snoop Dogg, who happens to be Banks’ cousin and, it seems fair to assume, sire to numerous litters of illegitimate snoop pups.

Sasha insists she will modify her nickname slightly and turn heel, becoming the “Ill Legit Boss.”