Wrestling fan
Terry McMullan wheezes a complaint about a wrestler’s workrate.

Terry McMullen, an obese unemployed man who lives in his parents’ Cleveland basement, failed to see the absurdity in his recent rant about the “sub-par workrate” of wrestler Dean Ambrose.

“Moxley (Ambrose’s former name, which McMullan always uses for some reason) is just going through the motions these days,” said 29-year-old McMullen, who spent all weekend watching — and griping about — a newly purchased batch of wrestling DVDs.

“And Mox has been getting pudgy lately,” continued McMullen, wiping orange Cheeto dust from his fingers onto his socks.

“He’s phoning it in while Reigns and Black (Seth Rollins) steal the spotlight — that’s the real injustice.”

McMullen, who has never held a steady job and suffers from adult-onset diabetes, spends most of his days watching wrestling and complaining about it online.

He considered starting his own wrestling podcast, but lost interest after he realized he would have to go shopping for some audio equipment that could cost upwards of $75.

He hopes to become a professional wrestler himself, and insists that he will begin his long-postponed exercise regimen “next week for sure.”